Building a Man is Like Building a Blade

A blade is built for an intended purpose.

Just like man, he is built to penetrate, cut through, and sever.

Like a blade, a man is only useful when he’s sharp, shaped, and used for that intended purpose.

The process of forging a blade is much like the process of forging a man.

First, you must choose the right metal—your values. Weak metals won’t survive the fire, just like weak values melt under pressure.

Then comes the fire—a burning furnace that removes impurities and allows the steel to take shape.

After the fire, comes the hammering. This is where the blade, and the man, must be struck by something stronger than itself.

And finally, the sharpening—a slow, continuous grind that turns the rough shape into a sharp edge.

This past weekend, I married a truly wonderful woman. 

She is beautiful inside and out—loving, caring, nurturing, and supportive.

This has been the easiest, smoothest, and most peaceful relationship I’ve ever been in.

I have so much more to share about her, how I knew we were ready, and what led us to the big day, but that’s for another time.

Today, as I reflect on the past week, I’m thinking about the journey of becoming the man you know today and the men who helped me get here. 

At 41 years old and very newly married for the first time, some might say I’m a little late to the altar.

Sure, I’ve gotten close a few times, but never with the confidence and peace, both internally and externally, that I felt heading into this past weekend.

I remember previous seasons, feeling the pressure of trying to force marriage, driven by some kind of internal angst, always met with equal and greater external resistance.

I’m a driver, the type of man who knows I can make anything work.

So, in past relationships, I pushed—sometimes too hard.

But marriage, I’ve learned, isn’t the ultimate goal.

Legacy is. 

And the greatest impact a man will have on this world is the impact a father will have on his son.

If it weren’t for God’s divine intervention and the modeling of great men in my life, I could have easily forced my way into the wrong marriage.

And I would have made it work through sheer grit and stubbornness.

But, I don’t think marriage has to be hard especially when you choose a different kind of hard for your life.

Step 1: Choose The Metal

You get to choose what you put into the fire of the forge.

Whatever you choose will be burned, beaten, shaped and refined and what comes out on the other end is your legacy.

My Pastor Keith Craft, is a man who embodies excellence and has multi-generational fruit.

And he taught me the principle of choosing your hard, a simple poem that radically shifted my perspective on how I chose my partner.

PK’s life is a living testament to these words.

It’s always going to be hard and we always have a choice.

So, if you can, choose someone who makes it easy to overcome the hard everywhere else.

Step 2: Enter The Forge

Then there’s Bedros Keuilian — fire and forge.

If you ever visit his gym, you’ll see a simple but powerful reminder on the wall: “Never Peak—The Best is Yet to Come.” 

That phrase has stuck with me from our very first workout together in 2018, when I had just moved to California to start TRULEAN.

I was coming off a major entrepreneurial failure, and he took a chance on me—one that changed my life.

That first workout was brutal—walking barbell lunges up and down the turf until my legs collapsed.

I felt pain, disappointment, and anger.

But it wasn’t just the workout that left a mark.

It was realizing that this next chapter was going to demand more from me as a man than I had ever given before.

Bedros taught me what it means to never settle, to always push for more - To Never Peak — The Best is Yet to Come.

I think of these men as the foundation for choosing core values and submitting to the fire of life.

They continue to teach me that life will always be hard, but you get to choose what shapes you.

Step 3: Submit to The Hammering

A blade and a man take shape through hammering.

Heating, cooling and beating over and over again until the metal becomes strong enough to be sharpened.

Three men come to mind when I think about this season.

Trent Robert Smock my uncle was the first man to introduce me to personal development.

He handed me a Tony Robbins cassette when I was nine, and from that moment, I understood that you could become anyone if you were willing to pay the price.

I watched Trent navigate the challenges of raising his kids, building his marriage, and leading his business.

He hammered those lessons home through his consistency and commitment to self-improvement. He continues to show me what lifelong excellence looks like.

Casey Raher, my stepdad, is a man who has taught me the power of endurance.

He and my mom reconnected after 20 years apart, a love story that’s stood the test of time.

Casey’s kindness and creativity provide balance to my mom’s strength, and through their relationship, I’ve learned that while life doesn’t always go as planned, endurance will get you where you need to be.

And then there’s Jon “Bang Bang” Luisi, my best friend of over 20 years.

Jon has seen me at my worst, he was the one who drove me to rehab in my 20s.

But, through all the ups and downs, Jon has remained a constant.

His ability to make everyone around him feel comfortable, his knack for lowering guards, is something I deeply admire.

Jon is a reminder that the right relationships don’t have to be hard.

Step 4: Sharpen, Sharpen, Sharpen

Once you have the shape of a man (and a blade) you need to sharpen it.

This is a lifelong process.

Garrett Unclebach, Navy SEAL and leader of Mighty Men, is another man who embodies what it means to be forged by faith and community.

He’s standing on the shoulders of men like Pastor Keith and his own father, and his unrelenting commitment to building Kingdom-driven men is something I deeply respect.

Then there’s Josh Lashua, my partner in The HVMC, a man who continues to sharpen me through his reliability and pursuit of constant improvement.

My, new father-in-law Beto Pimentel, who I’m still getting to know, like all men, he has a story of being shaped and refined, and I’m excited to learn more from him as our relationship grows.

Finally, my father, Adolfo Miguel Alejandrino.

Just a few years ago, my dad wouldn’t have been at my wedding.

I wouldn’t have invited him.

Nearly every decision I’ve made as a conscious man, I made in direct opposition to the path my dad walked.

But, the greatest gift my dad gave me, other than my life, is the realization that we always have a choice.

We can love or hate, hold on or let go, feed fear or have faith.

It’s always our choice to choose, to be forged, to be shaped, and to become sharp for an intended purpose.

To my mentors, models and every man,

You’ve been the fire, the forge, the hammer, and the anvil at different seasons in my life, shaping me into the man I am today.

Withstanding your own fire in the never-ending refinement to be the man you are now.

Society tells us to be soft, passive, but we know deep down that we’re here to remain sharp, to cut through, to make a difference.

I want to honor you in your own forging process and tell you how grateful I am to know you, love you, and call you family.

Thank you for the impact you’ve made on me, my family, and the legacy that’s still to come.

Forged now and forever,

Mr. & Mrs. Alejandrino

10/20/24