- Erin Alejandrino
- Posts
- Good Men Don't Follow Bad Advice
5 minute read
Most dating advice for men sucks…
The two problems
The one solution
Problem 1: Boys leading boys.
There’s a growing market of sleazy washed up dating geeks and “Red Pill” extremists who are warping the minds of men in the dating space.
Geeks with techniques who’s primary focus is to get laid.
If you’re unfamiliar with the “Red Pill” ideology, in broad strokes, it focuses on male improvement, traditional gender roles and modern dating practices, it’s not all bad but it tends to blame the feminist movement as to the reason for the growing divide between men and women.
The extremists overly emphasize financial self-improvement at the cost of emotional intelligence and pursue bodycount as a measure of success.
These men usually have unresolved relationship trauma…
Some girl broke their heart so they hit the gym, make some money and swear off love and live as a playboy.
While it has unethical roots and is driven by lust and control, in my opinion, this is the lesser of two evils.
At the very least they develop the skillset of approach, sharpen their teeth and learn from men.
And eventually the game gets boring and the man will meet a woman that the game doesn’t work on… but, not without plenty of collateral damage.
If a man wants a wife and kids that respect him… he can’t take advice from boys.
Problem 2: Women leading boys.
This is the real problem.
The rise and success of female dating coaches for men.
Despite their best intentions a woman can’t teach a man to be masculine, create polarity or lead in a relationship.
And the the problem is…
A man who takes advice from a woman on how to attract and keep a woman is overlooking the fundamental reason he can’t attract or keep a woman.
A lion cub was abandoned on the savanna.
A herd of gazelles came upon him.
They nurtured the baby cub through adulthood.
One day the lion, who thought he was a gazelle, wandered into a pride of lions.
He was terrified and cowered.
The Lion King came upon the lion cub and said:
“Why are you afraid?”
The cub replied because I am gazelle and you are a Lion.
No bro… You’re a fucking lion.
You don’t have to look very far to see the problem.
We’re lacking good men in the world.
There are just more women stepping up to try and fill the gap, it’s admirable but it won’t fix the problem, while a woman can birth a boy, she can’t raise a man.
She needs a man and that’s why I believe “she” is stepping into every domain trying to teach the men…
But it’s not her job and she is ill-equipped to do it [literally and figuratively].
If the primary voice in a man’s life is from a woman:
His mother
His schooling
His therapist
His partner
His friends
His dating coach
He will have an overdeveloped “female voice” and lose touch with his masculine core.
He will mold behaviors to fit in rather than live authentically.
He will be operating from a warped worldview that puts the needs of the feminine over the needs of his own.
He won’t understand polarity, attraction and why his relationships struggle.
It doesn’t mean a man should neglect or ignore all dating advice from his female counterparts…
But, it means he shouldn’t make that his only source of information.
A good man becomes better when he spends time with a greater man.
Men learn to be men by spending time with men.
If you want to be great, you need to spend time with great.
It is as simple as that.
Proximity is power, and when a man understands this everything changes…
The bible says “Iron sharpens iron, so one man sharpens another” this couldn’t be more true.
This works in fitness, finances and the domain of building a family.
For a man to level up in his dating, relationships and love life he must be in proximity to other men pursuing the same thing.
No technique, no game, no developing your feminine side.
The Solution: Join a Tribe of High Value Man
Tribes of men have rules.
You must add value or you lose your place in the tribe.
All those things that destroy relationship intimacy and make a man undateable:
Ego
Selfishness
Weakness
Lack of leadership
They get burned away in proximity to other men.
You might be able to fake it with woman or even lower value men but real men won’t stand for it.
Level up or level out.
The secret to getting what you want with Woman, Work and the World is healthy confrontation, competition and supportive community of High Value Men.
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