How to stop sabotaging your success

3 minute read

Success isn’t just about skill or effort, it’s about what you allow yourself to achieve.

Many of us push forward in our careers, relationships, or personal growth, only to find ourselves stalling, hesitating, or even undoing our own progress.

It’s frustrating, but it’s not random.

Psychologists call this The Upper Limit Problem, an internal cap on how much success, happiness, or wealth we believe we deserve.

The moment we move beyond our comfort zone, our subconscious creates reasons to pull us back.

Whether it’s procrastination, self-doubt, or unnecessary conflict, these patterns act like an invisible ceiling, keeping us from our full potential.

The good news? Once you recognize the pattern, you can break it.

Here’s how.

Thermostat Setting

Every man has an internal thermostat for success, love, happiness, and wealth.

It’s a default setting that seeks predictability.

It’s part biology (your nervous system) and part psychology (beliefs and emotions).

But it’s one hundred percent dictating your progress.

You push past it, and something inside pulls you back down.

Maybe you’ve felt it before:

• You get into great shape, then somehow let yourself slip.

• You start making more money than ever, then sabotage yourself with bad investments.

• Your marriage is thriving, and suddenly, you start picking fights.

• Your faith is strong, and then you find excuses to skip church, stop praying, and disconnect.

This isn’t random.

This is self-sabotage at a subconscious level and if you don’t recognize it, you’ll keep taking laps in the desert instead of stepping into your genius zone.

In The Big Leap, Gay Hendricks describes the Upper Limit Problem as a hidden psychological barrier that prevents us from achieving higher levels of success, happiness, and fulfillment.

The internal thermostat, that once we reach a certain threshold of success, our subconscious pulls us back down through self-sabotage, doubt, or avoidance.

Hendricks explains that this happens because we’ve been conditioned by upbringing, past experiences, or limiting beliefs, to believe we don’t deserve too much success, love, or happiness. 

So, when we start exceeding our “normal,” we subconsciously create problems to bring ourselves back to a comfortable baseline.

Imposter Syndrome is an Upper Limit

Imposter Syndrome is normal… but it’s an upper limit.

It keeps high performing men from fully stepping into their potential. It’s that internal voice whispering:

• “I don’t belong here.”

• “I got lucky, sooner or later, they’ll find out.”

• “I’m not as good as they think I am.”

This isn’t just self-doubt. It’s your subconscious keeping you “safe” by holding you back.

When you start breaking into new levels of success [or just starting out] whether in business, relationships, or personal growth, your mind struggles to reconcile the new you with the old identity you’ve been conditioned to believe.

It shows up in every domain…

• Faith: You deepen your relationship with God, but part of you wonders if you’re just “playing church.”

• Fitness: You hit your best shape ever, but feel like you don’t deserve the confidence or respect that comes with it.

• Family: You step up as a leader, yet question if you’re actually cut out for it.

• Finances: You make more money than ever, yet fear you’re a fraud and it will all disappear.

At its core, imposter syndrome is self-rejection. Instead of embracing your growth, you resist it.

Instead of owning your wins, you dismiss them as luck or timing… or worse you never even start.

But the great news is limits and the imposter syndrome ONLY show up when we’re reaching for something new… they are signals that you are stepping forward into whole new you.

Breaking Through The Limit

The only way past this is through it.

The difference between mediocrity and mastery is learning how to break through this invisible ceiling instead of getting pulled back into old patterns.

To break free of the upper limit you have to combine both Awareness and Action.

Do an honest assessment… Where are you holding yourself back?

I can tell you one thing from personal experience…

It’s uncomfortable to face these truths and it might even be hard to take the action…

But, it’s a whole lot less painful than getting to the end of your life and wondering who you could have been.

You got this, I’m rooting for you and so is everyone else.

I can’t wait to see who you become and what you create.

Much love,

E

PS… This was the topic we covered today on The High Value Man weekly Men’s Call. A private weekly call for Men where we cover The Four Domains, Faith, Fitness, Family & Finances we celebrate wins, solve problems, support and challenge each other to become better. There is a ton of content and curriculum inside as well to help you on your journey.

===> Check it out for FREE for 7 Days and hop on our group call tomorrow and say hi.