9 minute read

Imagine opening a lightsaber for the first time…

That's kind of what stepping into manhood feels like; it's thrilling, dangerous and there's no instruction manual…

Here’s what were covering in today’s article…

• The Hero’s [you] Journey

• If you want to save the world you gotta leave the womb.

• When Luke became a man

• The Wolves Inside

• and the last hope for the Galaxy.

In Star Wars, we've got this farm kid who blasts off into the stars to become a legend.

It’s not just about space battles; it’s about his path to becoming a Jedi [and a man] —a journey that speaks volumes about our own struggles with masculinity and growth.

Leaving the comfort of the known world, wrestling with your inner demons, dealing with dad issues, and even how women shape us along the way.

While the whole Star Wars franchise got a little weird in the last few installments, the story speaks to the heart of every man.

And its one we need to pay attention to if we have any chance of overthrowing the Empire…

The Hero's Journey in Masculinity

Star Wars isn't just a blockbuster franchise; it's the story of every man.

Take Luke Skywalker for instance, his leap from Tatooine farm boy to galaxy-saving Jedi is more than epic—it's a blueprint for masculine growth.

It’s about stepping out and taking on the world, so you can find your place in it.

Central to this narrative is the concept of The Hero’s Journey, a path of personal evolution that a man endures [often repeatedly, throughout life].

The Hero's Journey, as outlined by Joseph Campbell, mirrors the psychological stages of growth and maturity.

Understanding these stages can unlock insights into your own life.

It's not just mythology; it's psychology that can help guide your personal evolution.

A long time ago… in a galaxy far, far away men had a process for becoming men…

The first step in a man’s journey is to leave the comfort of home…

Home is the womb.

It’s safe, protected, nurturing and comfortable.

It’s mother, grandmother and all things feminine that are necessary to the development of life.

It’s where boys are born and men slowly die.

The greatest issue affecting masculinity these days is the lack of Masculine Initiation — the rite of passage that brings a boy into manhood by severing the bond of comfort, convenience and safety.

In our Star Wars story it’s where old man Ben Kenobi takes young Luke out of the comfort of home and into the great war in which he plays a critical role in…

I couldn’t wait to leave the house.

I was 18 when I left for college in pursuit of a fine art degree in debauchery — I had planned to attend classes, but I mostly just wanted to adventure.

I had credit, freedom, a car and absolutely zero responsibilities — everything an 18 year old could dream of.

I gave it a solid “college try” for almost a decade — two universities, a fine arts school and community college, no degree and lots of debt.

I intended to go to classes and graduate…

But I had no real reason as to why, I couldn’t see myself in a traditional career, I had no purpose and my only real motivation was women.

I left home for college not because of a pursuit of a great mission — but because I wanted to find a mate.

I thought if I could find the women — I’d become the man.

The Psychological Necessity of Leaving Home

Think about it, the walls you grew up in hold more than just old posters and fading photographs.

They're packed with comfort so thick, it can smother your drive to grow.

Staying put might seem cozy but here's the kicker: that safety net can morph into a web of anger, resentment, and frustration faster than you'd expect.

Growth doesn't thrive in stagnant waters; challenge is its lifeblood.

The stats don't lie – men who break free from their home's embrace often find themselves forging ahead in personal development.

It's simple really: when we're too comfortable, we get complacent.

Facing challenges head-on—that’s what carves out character and identity.

But this isn’t just about swinging at life with wild abandon; it’s strategic, intentional movement toward becoming who you're meant to be—a hero in your own right

And this is really the critical piece…

Where an emerging man [young Luke] needs a masculine mentor.

The Role of Feminine Influence on Masculine Growth

When we think about growth, especially for men, the role of the feminine influence is a double-edged sword.

On one hand, it's the comfort and nurturing from women that can provide stability.

But there’s a catch: too much comfort will keep a man from reaching his full potential.

A mothers nature is to comfort and birth the boy — but it’s the fathers job to raise the man.

The father is the “mentor” in Cambell’s narrative, he is the one who guides the boy [Luke] from the known into the unknown.

In the first installment of Star Wars Luke’s home is violently destroyed — his caretakers [aunt and uncle] are murdered and Luke now fueled with anger, rage and purpose knows that there is only one way forward.

Into the unknown.

No going back and no safety net.

Time to MAN UP Luke.

[More on masculine initiation and separation]

Luckily for him he’s got Obi Wan…

The masculine mentor that teaches the young mind the tribal rules of man — everything is earned, life is dangerous, there are consequences and comfort is cancer.

He sharpens, develops and teaches the young Jedi the ways of the force — and guides him through his initiation into manhood.

That’s how its supposed to go.

Maybe not your childhood home and family being burnt to the ground…

But, a definitive point in time when you face the reality that you are no longer a boy.

I racked up debt, she paid it off.

I got in trouble, she bailed me out.

I fucked up, she consoled me.

I acted immaturely, she told me she loved me.

None of that is her fault.

It was her being a mother and me being a boy.

It was just her and I most of my upbringing, my mom raised me.

Father figures came and went, but anytime one of the men tried to reprimand, correct or even hit me [I’m sure I deserved it] she’d get in the middle.

Protecting. Insulating. Comforting.

That’s honorable — but that’s not how the world of men works.

From childhood, adolescence and the entire decade of my 20’s I called my mom every time I fucked up.

… and I fucked up plenty.

This would be like Luke running off to save the world but having his mom fight the battles.

In Star Wars there was no “Home”, mother or safety net for Luke to fall back on — he had to become a man, or die.

That level of finality is whats needed to build a man.

My own pattern of immaturity and codependency conditioned me with a default to comfort and the avoidance of responsibility.

… it also created an unhealthy reliance on woman, I drew strength and identity from “her” rather than giving strength to “her”.

It infiltrated every romantic relationship…

I thought a mate would make the man — but only the mission will.

This is the great divide between men and women btw — an unconscious program weakening masculinity for the last 100 years, purposeless men pursuing women in hopes that “she” will complete him.

Meet the “Nice Guy” a people pleasing, approval seeking, soft and beta man who tries to be NICE to get his needs met… a man that wants a relationship with a woman but fails to lead her. [Home of a future article]

The tendency for the feminine is to love, nurture, protect and care for — essential things a boy needs… but if that support turns into coddling or overprotection, it will do more harm than good.

Think about it—how often do we see guys who never really grow up because they’ve always had someone making things easy for them?

Look at the darkness and evil that comes from men who lacked a fathers intercession and discipline…

THIS IS THE ROOT PROBLEM IN THE MODERN AMERICAN WORLD.

Absent or passive fathers & the raising left to women or schools.

If boys never learn the rules of men — they age into adulthood still acting like children assuming someone else will clean up their mess.

The result?

Lost and unsure of their place in the world unable to answer the question…

“Am I really a man?”

This isn’t just speculation; life shows us this truth in action.

It takes grit and resilience to step out and become your best self—and that usually means leaving behind what’s comfortable.

The Father-Son Dynamic and Masculine Identity

Every man's march toward his own identity starts with understanding the blueprint laid out by his father.

It’s not just about who our fathers were; it's also a reflection of who we are as men.

Wrestling with that legacy can be like staring into a mirror that reflects back not only our features but also our deepest insecurities and potential.

This introspection is crucial because for most men, their dad is their first hero— who later becomes an inner villain.

To make matters more complex, if the boy is raised by a single mom [or absent/neglectful father] there is a very high likelihood the mothers voice will impact his perspective of men.

Don’t be like your father.
Men are pigs.
All they want is sex.
They can’t be trusted.
He’s just a wimp.
He’s evil.

Recognizing your father's humanity, complete with flaws and all, frees you up to forge your own path rather than simply tracing his footsteps or running away from them.

We’ve got to face these truths head-on if we’re ever going to carve out an authentic masculine identity for ourselves—one that acknowledges where we come from but isn't chained to it.

One that respects the pain of the mother but isn’t influenced by the vilifying of the father.

To see ourselves clearly — we have to see our father clearly.

Embracing the Duality Within

Masculinity isn't a one-size-fits-all suit; it's more like a tailored outfit that changes with each man.

It can be as nurturing as it is aggressive, seductive yet assertive, and both primal and violent.

That mix—the goodness alongside the darkness—is what every guy has to grapple with.

The trick isn't to pick a side but to walk the tightrope between them.

So instead of choosing sides in this inner battle, think about how you can let those aspects coexist—how your protective instincts could mean being fierce at times while also knowing when gentleness is called for.

This balance doesn't make you less of anything; if anything, it makes you more fully human—a real-deal man. Jedi Knight.

The Daily Battle for Self-Improvement

Facing Inner Demons

Every man's path to self-improvement is a personal battleground, victory comes from wrestling with the shadows within.

It's not about reaching perfection but rather engaging in that constant struggle against our fears and weaknesses.

To master the force within.

We all have our demons lurking in the back alleys of our minds, whispering tales of doubt and insecurity — we are both Darth Vadar and the Jedi Knight.

To sit at life's table requires more than showing up — once you cross the threshold into the unknown of your masculine journey…

Don’t go back home until you return as the King [or Jedi].

Run from comfort and face the darkness.

It’s not going to be easy…

But easy is for boys and you’re a fucking man — so act one.

Plus it’s not about you, the final chapter in the Hero’s Journey and our Star Wars saga is about the gift.

The return home and the ultimate boon.

Giving Back as a Mentor

Reaching maturity isn't just about self-growth; it's also about stepping into the role of mentor.

Think Luke Skywalker in Star Wars, after decades of battling his fears and honing his strengths, he takes on the final task of passing on his wisdom.

Mentorship completes the Hero’s Journey.

All the the pain, problems and struggles and that decade wasted — it was not for you…

It’s for all those that come after you.

The fatherless boys who need initiation…

The young men lost and looking…

… and the timid ones that a need a great adventure.

If you want to learn more about The Hero’s Journey and see this Star Wars analogy in real time action…

Check out this 10:40 second breakdown of the Hero’s Journey from a LIVE group coaching call with a young man named Carlos from Costa Rica who is about to embark on his quest.

Just like so many men Carlos didn’t have a strong father figure growing up to teach him the ways of the world and he was left to figure things out on his own and learn from his mother and grandmother.

Carlos joined the Premium membership for this Newsletter for just $11.11 per month and got access to Office Hours which is a weekly LIVE group call where myself and the men in my elite High Value Man Coaching Program come together to Hotseat current problems.

Subscribe to Premium Membership to read the rest.