Happy Holidays,

I can’t believe this year is already coming to a close.

I was looking back on this last year and reflecting on all the things I have to be grateful for…

My lovely wife, my home, Ness, the community of High Value Men, JiuJitsu and the ability to pursue meaningful work. I am healthy, both my parents are still alive and I have a great network of meaningful relationships.

I feel very blessed.

I hope it’s been as great for you as it’s been for me,

But, even with all the things I have to be thankful for I still find myself from time to time in an ungrateful state.

Recently, with the crypto market pumping, I caught myself frustrated. I had sold positions on coins that have been running, and while I made a little, it was not as much as I had hoped. That led me down the rabbit hole of every financial mistake I have made over the past decade.

I thought about the money I lost in the Blockfi and FTX scandal and replayed all my bad decisions in my head.

That feeling of "not enough" scarcity, shame, blame, it’s like a ten-thousand-pound wet blanket.

Suffocating. Paralyzing. And entirely unproductive.

It’s one thing to reflect on decisions to extract lessons, but it’s something else entirely to sulk and stay stuck in that victim-minded state.

I’ve learned that when doubt, fear, or selfishness creep in, it only amplifies the problem and blinds us to solutions.

That’s when I turn to one of my most important rules:

WHEN IN DOUBT, FOCUS OUT.

“I am blessed to be a blessing to others.”

Make that your mantra, because you are.

The miracle is YOU when you decide to be the miracle for someone else.

I first learned this lesson in a moment of extreme selfishness about 10 years ago.

I had hired a coach to help me level up in my personal training business and one of our first coaching sessions he asked me a very simple question…

“How are you doing?”

I was stressed with the growth and feeling overwhelmed with all the things I had to do and without even thinking about it I dumped on him…

“None of my clients are making progress, they show up late, they all want the same time, I’m tired, I’m missing my own workouts, one client is actually getting fatter, dating sucks, I’m not making enough money…”

Blah blah.

This went on for about 10 minutes, nodded his head and listened.

When I was done, he said:

I was shocked, here I am paying this guy and he had the audacity to cancel my session, who did he think he was?

Then he told me to use the remaining time in our session to go to the store and get a few items for my weekly stretch.

My coach had me get peanut butter, jelly, a loaf of bread, bottle water, paper lunch bags, tin foil and a black sharpie marker.

He told me to make as many PB&J’s as I could, wrap them in tin foil and write you are loved on the outside.

He was explicit with the directions and said I was to prepare each sandwich as if I was making it for someone I cared for deeply, to put peanut butter on both sides of the bread, be generous with the jelly and cut it carefully down the middle.

“Don’t be sloppy with this, put care into it” - I remember him saying.

Then I was to go to the worst part of town (Downtown Phoenix at the time) and hand deliver each sandwich and bottle of water to someone in need.

I was to take time to connect and have a conversation with them, ask them there name and be present.

There is so much emotion around this memory, it’s been over a decade but I can still distinctly remember the feeling, first awkwardness, then humility, then gratitude and finally joy.

Needless to say it was exactly what I needed to put my life in perspective.

It shifted focus away from me and my “problems” and put my attention outward.

High Value Men Focus Out

I’ve since used that rule When in Doubt, Focus Out 100’s of times over the last decade with myself and clients and each time it produces the same profound result.

Service, gratitude, humility and a deep sense of ownership to something far greater than our everyday problems.

One of the core pillars of the High Value Man community is service.

I believe that when a man steps out of his comfort zone, humbles himself, and focuses outward, that’s where real growth happens.

It's why When in Doubt, Focus Out has become more than just a stretch, but a way to live.

If you’re struggling, feeling stuck, or just tired of going through the motions, the best thing you can do is serve someone else. 

It can be as simple as buying someone a cup of coffee, holding the door open or making some PB&J’s.

It’s like a reset button for your soul.

When you pour your energy into helping others, your own problems shrink, and your perspective shifts.

I am excited to share that next year, The High Value Man Community is going to make a few focused efforts to serve on a larger scale, to create meaningful connection with a band of brothers and make a difference in the lives of those in need.

The First High Value Man Mission Trip with Impact Nations

El Salvador | January 26th - 31st, 2025

We’re heading to El Salvador to serve men battling addiction and homelessness. Through street ministry and construction work, we’ll offer these men hope, resources, and a path to rebuild their lives.

Our host Impact Nations and Jonathan & Alicia Farrant have been transforming lives since its founding in 2012. Through their various ministries—such as Wigs of Hope, Jethro’s Children, No Greater Love Homes, and the No Greater Love Orphanage—focusing out and offering hope, care, and a path to a brighter future.

This won’t be a vacation.

We will be working hard, challenged mentally, physically, emotionally, and spiritually—but that’s where the growth happens.

There’s already almost 10 Men from the HVM Community committed to going and there are a few spots left for those that might be interested in serving.

If that sounds like you, read on, reply and lets connect.

What You’ll Do:

• Bring men off the streets and introduce them to a complimentary 3-month rehab program.

• Help build new wings at a shelter, creating safe spaces for those seeking a fresh start.

• Build lasting bonds of fellowship with other men committed to serving and growing.

• Other than the physical labor of serving, plan to also do something hard, evenings will be spent with dialogue, takeaways and an opportunity to connect.

What You’ll Gain:

This trip is about more than service—it’s about transformation. When you’re surrounded by men who are all-in for a cause bigger than themselves, you come back different. Stronger. More grounded. Clearer about your purpose.

All-Inclusive Cost: $1,000

(Includes lodging, meals, and transportation to/from mission sites. Airfare not included.)

• $500 Deposit to secure your spot / $500 Balance due 1/10/25.

From Dallas direct flights to El Salvador are about $300.

Here’s what you need to join:

• Plane ticket

• Passport

• Travel insurance

• A few donations: basic hygiene items for those we’ll be serving

Why This Matters

Too many men are caught up in their own struggles—jobs, relationships, finances, faith. What they’re missing is perspective.

Serving others is how you break free from that cycle. When you pour into someone else, you discover the depth of your own blessings.

This mission trip is your chance to live out what it means to be a High Value Man.

Next Steps

If you’re interested in going, are available that week and can fly to El Salvador just reply to this email and we will connect.

Before you do, please Learn More About the Mission and do me a favor and share this with others so we can spread the word.

If you’re on the fence… do it.

This is your chance to step up, serve boldly, and leave a legacy.

But not matter what, just remember…

When in doubt, focus out.

In service,

Erin “Focus Out” Alejandrino

PS… If you can’t GO but still want to GIVE just reply to this email and I’ll share a link with you so you can donate as part of the HVM Mission Trip. Part of our gift other than service will be a memorial plaque that we’ll leave with the mission.