4 minute read

• The THREE Voices in our Head

• You have to be a Detective

• Develop then DEPLOY

Lets talk about self talk.

If you talked to others the way you talked to yourself — would you gain more friends or create more enemies?

If every word you spoke to yourself were broadcasted in a thought bubble above your head would you feel proud — or ashamed?

One of the biggest reasons for VICES to run rampant in a man’s life is negative self talk.

Programmed critical language that destroys confidence and robs a man of vitality and victories.

Self deprecating loser talk that runs on repeat — a broken record that breaks a man from the inside out.

Lots of things can prompt this…

Like a past failure, toxic relationship or even well-meaning hyper protective parents.

This internal CRITIC becomes the loudest voice in a man’s head where he starts to believe the lies.

But we are NOT our thoughts — our ability to think and use our mind is simply one of the many tools we have as men.

It’s hard for most to grasp this when they first travel down the road of personal development but it is the most important truth.

Your are NOT your thoughts.

And you are certainly NOT your negative thoughts.

In fact your thoughts only make up 25% of who you are as a human.

So much of our human experience [especially for men] is rooted in how we think — but it’s such a small piece that we give too much power to.

• You have an emotional experience

• You have a physical experience

• You have a spiritual experience

Your intellectual experience is just a facet of your total being.

It is the part however that can be one of the most powerful PIVOTS IN YOUR PERSONAL DEVELOPMENT JOURNEY.

Change the language — change your life.

The Critic, The Coach & The Champion

These are the THREE VOICES in your head.

The Critic’s job is to confuse, criticize and paralyze.

The Coaches job is to clarify, correct and challenge.

The Champions job is to inspire, ignite and empower.

Discovering The Critic

The Critic is the first voice you need to identify.

You need to hogtie, duck tape and gag this voice in order for you to achieve greatness.

The Critic is slippery and likes to pop up every time you are reaching for a new level.

I’ve got a few statements that should help you identify The Critic.

The Critic Sounds Like: Doubt, fear and hiding. It says you failed before and you’ll fail again. It says you are not worthy of love and you’ll never be good enough.

The Critic shows up when: I fail or am rejected. When something doesn’t go as planned.

The feelings I experience when The Critic is present are: In authenticity, a chameleon, changing who I am to fit in and not being honest. I feel small like I don’t matter and uncomfortable in my own skin.

I learned the Critic Voice from: From my mom when her emotions or stress from adult life overshadowed my experience, I felt like I didn’t matter and had to always be good. I also learned it from my dad through neglect, he wasn’t around and I felt I wasn’t worth being chosen.

They learned The Critic Voice from: My mom learned it from her parents being the youngest of 8 and my Dad learned it from his parents who wanted a daughter instead of a son.

I prove the Critic right when I: When I let failure define me, when I stay quiet, hide, don’t followthrough on what I said I would do, when I distract, numb or avoid.

I prove the Critic wrong when I: Place my identity in God and not my accomplishments. When I stay focused on the Vision despite obstacles.

Once you Identify The Critic… Now you can meet the Coach.

Developing The Coach

The Coach is the model or mentor that YOU choose to invite into your life.

This can be an actual coach, a podcast, book or mentor.

Choose a coach that has fruit [results] in their life that you’d like to have.

Ask yourself the question….

“How would my coach respond in this moment?”

I have a few coaches…

Bruce Lee, Bedros Keuilian, Pastor Keith Craft, Wayne Dyer and David Goggins depending on what I’m facing.

Remember the critics job is to paralyze you — the coaches job is to challenge you.

Here are a few prompts from inside the HVM Community that might help you.

The coach I am going to model is: David Goggins

A quote they frequently say is: Work harder MoFo!

The coach will respond to the critic by doing: Putting in the work, being aggressive and creating a result.

The coach will respond to the critic by saying: I AM A WINNER.

Having an ACTUAL coach that speaks into your life is one of the greatest gifts you can give yourself — so many men listen to the critic because their first coach [father figure] wasn’t around.

That may not be your fault — but it is your responsibility to change it.

Deploying The Champion

The Champions job is to inspire, ignite and empower.

This is YOUR REAL VOICE.

Call it intuition, Holy Spirit, God’s Voice — your highest self.

It is the voice within that awakens once you silence The Critic.

This is the voice that will GUIDE you to your vocation.

It will start as a whisper…

But, eventually over time it will be a resounding roar.

If you’ve been reading the Newsletters you know that this is STEP 5 in the High Value Man 6V Formula.

• Vision

• Values

• Victories

• VICES

• Voice

These steps work together to help you craft your VOCATION, your purpose, your calling and the reason why you’re here.

You can’t skip steps and they are in order for a reason.

So start with Step 1 and craft that VISION.

By the way if you want to access the New HVM Community and walk through EACH Step with guided videos, worksheets and gain access to a weekly LIVE call check out The HVMC on SKOOL.

===> You can Join for just $97/month for the next week

Much Love and many blessings,

E

===> Join me on SKOOL and get access to the 6V Formula, Community and a Weekly Live Call.